Sirius Black and the Roach that Haunts the Night
by SqornshellousZeta
Summary: Alas Sirius finds a roach he can not kill! (G) rated family friendly. Please read and review.


Alas my second story which I do not own. I own Albert and this is based after a real life roach killing. (A/N) I only write family friendly (G) stories. You will find no you know what romance story here. Alas forgive any bad spelling or grammar! I have spell check, but my computer does not seem to agree with checking all. So enough with this note... - It was midnight. Sirius stared to the ceiling above his bed, hoping for a change or a source of entertainment. Nothing happened. The tired teenager rolled over to stare at the floor, which proved to be as incredibly dull as staring at the ceiling. Letting out a sigh Sirius closed his eyes. HONK SHOOOO! Sirius's eyes shot open. SNORT HONK SHOOO! Sirius covered his ears with his hands and jumped out of bed to locate the source of the newly found entertaining noises. It came from Peter's bed. Sirius let out a moan, knowing full well that now that the snoring had started it would never stop. While climbing back into his bed Sirius heard his stomach growl. He was hungry. He needed food. Slipping yet again out of bed, the tired teen made his way towards the common room...that was until... "AAAIIIEEEEE!!!" A small black roach made its way across the stairs, which lay between him and the common room. "James, Remus, Peter!!! Help me!!! Its gonna eat me and I'll tell Dumbledore its your fault!!!" The three boys who couldn't care less if their friend was eaten by a roach, continued in their peaceful slumber. Sirius knew he could not handle the roach himself...if there were two things he hated more then Snape, it was roaches and his family. He needed his minions (as he called them) to kill it. He raced back towards his dorm-room and pulled the curtains of his minion's beds back. "Sirius your in for it this time!!!" cried a grumpy James Potter, Sirius's most loyal minion. "I need you to squish a roach for me", answered Sirius. "You wake me up because you can't kill one BUG!!!" Sirius, who clearly had not listened to James, kept talking. I need you to kill a bug for me or I will tell one Lily Evens who sent her the thirty valentines with poetry on her hair. Within five seconds James was standing next to Sirius holding Remus's shoe. "Alas let us tackle the foul thing", cried the now fully awake James Potter. Now it was time to awake his second most loyal minion. No not Remus, but Remus's pet Albert. Albert was half jarvey and half kneazle. Jarveys could speak, but usually it is beyond the wit of a jarvey to have a conversation. Being part kneazle, Albert had a lot of wit...in fact way too much wit. Sirius made his way to the overgrown fuzzy weasel. Hey Albert, how would you like a nice juicy gnome? Albert did not seem to here the now starving Sirius. Plan B now had to go into action. Hey pretty kitty, I am going to dress you up and name you Polly. Within seconds the mouth of Albert was attached to Sirius's hand. "YELP, get off of me you stupid overgrown weasel!" Sirius screamed at the top of his lungs. This of course was enough to wake both Peter and Remus. Sirius pulled the creature off his hand and threw it at Remus. "Your CAT tried to bit off my hand!!!" he yelled. Albert looked insulted at being called a cat and tried his hardest to attack Sirius. "He wouldn't have tried if you didn't threaten him and stop yelling!" Remus replied. Sirius growled, all he wanted them to do was kill the dumb roach so he could go to the kitchens. "We go to kill a roach", announced Sirius and with that being said he lead the confused group down towards the common room. He found the roach had moved and was now guarding the portrait hole. There was nothing for it. Sirius grabbed Remus's shoe and with a battle cry of "I AM THE ROACHES BANE", he ran towards the roach and leapt five feet into the air. Peter, James, Remus and Albert watched as the roach moved and Sirius fell flat on this face, which was now two inches from the swaying tentacles of the beast. "AAAAAAAAIIIII... -  
Twenty years later  
One gloomy day at number 12 Grimmald place.  
  
AAAAIIIIEEEEE die you fell thing cried Sirius as he leapt towards a little black roach. Harry, Hermione, Ron, Remus and a very old Albert (who lived outside and job was to report to the order if he saw any spies) all held their breath. Sirius let out a yell of my mission in life is complete and the group went back to what they were doing.  
THE END 


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